A sink hole in a body of water
A sink hole in a body of water
#zoommeetingnonos #whatnottodoinazoommeeting

Zoom Faux Pas: 10 Things You Should Avoid Doing in Meetings

By
Paul Kiernan
(7.25.2024)

Zoom users who have grown used to the new mode of communication should step back and ensure they are following the rules of courtesy, etiquette, common sense, and human decency.

Ah, communication. Despite technological advances and digital creations, there are still analog problems.

My friend Jacki (with an i, please) loves to talk on the phone. We wouldn’t hear from each other for months, and then we’d have these marathon phone calls. I love her and love talking to her; however, she seemed to plan our calls around mealtime. She would crunch the loudest salads, the toastiest sandwiches imaginable when we'd talk. Between breathless passages of how her life was going, I was overwhelmed with crunching, chewing, slurping, and the like. She never ate soft bread, hard-boiled eggs, or pudding; those things were too quiet for her.

Phone etiquette is important, especially when it comes to business calls. You should never eat a three-course meal while on the phone with clients, right? Cover the mouthpiece if you have to cough or burp, or fart if your gas approximates a Sousaphone. Avoid talking on the phone if you’re using the bathroom; simple rules like that, which should be obvious to everyone, but for some reason they aren’t.

Now that the Zoom meeting has replaced the business call, we have a whole new set of rules to follow. Some are obvious, but some may need to be reiterated just to keep them in people’s minds.

So, today’s blog is a sort of public service message, reminding Zoom users who have grown used to the newish mode of communication to step back and ensure they are not breaking any rules governed by courtesy, etiquette, common sense, and human decency. Rules like don’t talk on the phone with your parole officer when doing a new client onboarding session.

Let’s dive in, shall we?

Yes, for the love of all that’s holy, just write the fickin’ blog already.

Zoom Rules

1. Joining Late

The term fashionably late was invented to excuse the slothlike and self-important behavior of the rich and powerful; incidentally, the term was created by the rich and powerful. Late is late. There are no variations on the theme. If the meeting starts at seven and you arrive at 7:03, you’re late. It's as simple as that. There’s no fashion for lateness. There’s no Semaine de la mode de Paris for lateness, where runway models slide in behind desks with coffee in hand, breathless, explaining, in French, why they are late. No exhibits of broken clocks, dogs chewing on homework, late buses, or empty railway platforms. Late is not fashionable; it’s simply late.

Imagine you're hosting a meeting, and half the participants trickle in after the start time. It disrupts the flow, forces repetition, and wastes everyone's time. Punctuality demonstrates respect and sets a professional tone. If you anticipate being late, notify the host ahead of time. Being five minutes early allows you to troubleshoot any last-minute technical issues.

I am sure I have spoken of this before, but I come from the theater, and despite people imagining that it’s all very loose and very creative, the theater runs on the clock. If you’re late for rehearsal, you get warned; if you’re late again, you get fined. If you continue to be late, you’ll be in the audience watching someone else play the role you once had. The rule I was taught and live by is: on time is late, ten minutes before is on time and fifteen minutes before is early. Be early.

2. Poor Lighting and Background

The days of hiding in the dark while on the phone are over. You’ve got to be seen as well as heard. You’ve got to be presentable. We’re not talking Next Top Model makeup and fashion, but what you’d wear and how you’d look to go out in public, presentable at least.

Your visual presence on Zoom is as crucial as your physical presence in a traditional meeting. Bad lighting can obscure your face, making it hard for others to engage with you. Similarly, a messy background can distract attendees. Aim for a well-lit, neutral background. Consider investing in a ring light or a desk lamp if natural light is insufficient.

Want more tips? Read this: Tips for a Successful Video Meeting

A guy outside a government building wearing a Spider-man costume and posing

3. Inappropriate Attire

I often wonder if I’m wearing a good outfit for a mugshot when I leave my house. I’ve never been arrested, I don’t plan on being arrested, and I certainly have no desire to be arrested, but I still have that thought. My mother once chewed me out for attempting to leave my apartment wearing sweatpants. “Did I teach you nothing,” she asked, horrified, as I went for the door wearing a pair of grey sweats and a “this is some bad craziness” T-shirt. I didn’t grow up wealthy, but my mother impressed upon us the need to always look decent. Sweats we not decent. The T-shirt was barely passable, but not the sweatpants.

Apply the same rule to your Zoom meetings.

Even though you're at home, treat a Zoom meeting with the same formality as an in-person meeting. Wearing professional attire helps you get into the right mindset and shows that you take the meeting seriously. Remember, first impressions are lasting, and your appearance plays a significant role in how you're perceived.

If you don’t usually wear a suit to work, if you’re in a creative field, then just dress appropriately. If you’re a circus clown and, for some reason, you’re on a Zoom meeting and you show up in a suit, they’ll think you’re not taking the meeting seriously and that you’re clowning around. Use common sense; a Zoom meeting with a new client is not the place to showcase you’re new Fuck This Noise T-shirt.

4. Multitasking

Multitasking is a myth. Here’s what it really means: I am spreading my overtly taxed attention across many jobs, so I am not giving full attention to any of them. Your attention is not an all-you-can-eat buffet. You cannot give a little here, a little there, and then go back because they just put out fresh chicken wings. Something is going to suffer. Usually, it’s the wings, I mean unless it’s a wings joint. Making good wings is not that simple.

When you multitask, you're not giving your full attention to the meeting. This lack of focus can result in missing key points or being unprepared when asked a question. You show respect for the speaker and the meeting's purpose by staying present and engaged. Close unnecessary tabs and apps, and put your phone on silent to avoid distractions.

Pay attention and practice active listening, which you cannot do when multitasking.

5. Ignoring the Mute Button

I had a gig at the radio station as a late-night DJ in college. It was here I was introduced to the wonders of the cough button. The button that says cough was used when you had to cough, sneeze, burp, or take a huge bong hit—a lovely device, this button, functional and, at times, legally necessary. Its modern-day equivalent is the mute button on a Zoom call. Although, if you’re going to do bong hits, I recommend turning off your camera as well.

Background noise can be incredibly disruptive during a meeting. Whether it's a barking dog, a passing siren, or even typing, these sounds can interrupt the speaker and distract other participants. Muting your microphone when you're not speaking is a simple way to maintain a professional atmosphere. Additionally, always check your mute status before speaking to avoid the "You're on mute" reminder.

6. Eating or Drinking

There’s nothing quite so annoying as having a very busy day, no time for a break, and showing up on a one o’clock Zoon meeting only to have to watch someone eat a giant Philly cheesesteak sandwich with extra cheese and grilled onions and a side of chili cheese fries. I’m looking at you, Glen, in accounting. It’s distracting. And, if you’re like me, a man of near-global girth, forcing your co-workers to watch you consume such a meal could be terrifying for them. Their fingers poised over 911 on their speed dial, wondering if they were about to watch someone have a heart attack and die.

Eating during a meeting is not only distracting but also unprofessional. The sounds and sight of eating can divert attention from the discussion. If you must drink, opt for water and take quiet, discreet sips. Plan your meals around your meeting schedule to avoid needing to eat during the call.

I say this rule doesn’t apply to coffee. You can always drink coffee on a Zoom call. Coffee is like the U.N. ambassador; it has diplomatic immunity on every call.

7. Talking Over Others

Sometimes, when you have that great idea, waiting your turn to share it can be like waiting in line for the bathroom after you chugged a 7-11 Super Massive, Flood Your Small Village Gulp of Diet Coke. I have already copyrighted that name, so don’t even try. Hold it, you must, no matter how painful or excited you are. Someone else may be talking, and they deserve your attention.

Respectful communication is key in any meeting. Interruptions can cause confusion and derail the conversation. Practice active listening and wait for a natural pause before contributing. Zoom's "Raise Hand" feature is an excellent tool for signaling your intention to speak without interrupting.

The pee-pee dance will read as the need to pee on a Zoom call, not as excitement to share your amazing idea.

8. Using Unprofessional Language

Swearing may actually be a sign of intelligence; according to some scientists, it can turn people off and give them a low opinion of you; my mother, God rest her soul, loved Paul Newman. She thought he was “hunky” and a great actor. She’d watch anything with Newman in it. Then she saw the movie Slapshot, in which Newman played a foul-mouthed hockey player, and that was it; Mom swore off Paul Newman films. She returned to them about the same time she stopped yelling “son of a biscuit” when something went wrong in the kitchen and adopted the more popular “son of a bitch.” The point is that hearing foul language come from the mouth of the Angel Paul Newman upset her and might also upset a client of yours.

Your language sets the tone for your professionalism. Avoid slang, jargon, or casual expressions that might be misunderstood or seem unprofessional. Clear, concise, and respectful language helps maintain a professional atmosphere and ensures your points are communicated effectively.

raw meat in a bowl

9. Forgetting to Prepare

I was rehearsing 12th Night in Orlando one hot, hot, hot afternoon on an outdoor stage. The two other actors in the scene and I realized we hadn’t prepared; we had an outdated rehearsal schedule and thought we had another day before this scene would be rehearsed. The scene was Toby and Feste trying to convince Sir Andrew not to leave town. We were the clowns of the show, so the scene involved a bit with luggage and physical comedy. Now, when working on types of scenes like these, I usually have at least a rough outline of what I want to do. My ideas, combined with the other actors, usually yield something we could shape and hone later on. Not this day. After 25 minutes in the blazing heat, the director standing on stage watching us, we just stopped. The guy playing Feste looked at the director and said, “I … I got nothin’.” To which the director replied, “Yes, I can see that.”

We were unprepared, and it made that rehearsal useless. Thankfully, we had all worked together before, so that evening, in the cool of the night, we came up with a very funny bit. But that was extra time and worry the director didn’t need.

Preparation is crucial for a successful meeting. Review any materials, agenda, and notes beforehand. Being prepared allows you to contribute meaningfully and stay engaged throughout the discussion. It also demonstrates respect for the organizer's efforts in planning the meeting.

Also, avoid having Zoom meetings in the afternoon under direct Florida sun. It fries your brain.

10. Overlooking Technical Issues

Technical glitches can disrupt a meeting and waste time. To minimize disruption, regularly update your Zoom software and test your equipment before the meeting. Ensure your internet connection is stable and familiarize yourself with Zoom's features. If issues arise, address them calmly and promptly.

I am so guilty of this one. I cannot tell you how many times I get into a Zoom meeting, and I cannot hear anyone, and they cannot hear me. It’s easily fixed but can leave a client asking, “What’s wrong with him? Is he an idiot, a technical moron, a total digital failure?” The answer is yes to all, but there’s no need for the client to know that.

Summing Up

Zoom meetings have become an integral part of our professional lives, and maintaining proper etiquette is crucial for effective communication and productivity. By avoiding these ten common mistakes, you can ensure that you present yourself professionally and contribute to a smooth and successful meeting. Remember, your behavior in virtual meetings reflects your professionalism and respect for others. Stay prepared, stay engaged, and let your professionalism shine through the screen.