People taking a knee at an outdoor assembly
People taking a knee at an outdoor assembly
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From Outrage to Understanding: Changing How We React to Business Failures

By
Paul Kiernan
(9.18.2024)

In an increasingly polarized world, where frustration often overshadows understanding, cultivating empathy becomes essential for fostering positive relationships.

Things don’t always go our way, and even our favorite things, places we visit, and joints we eat at fail us in minor ways now and then. We don’t know why the failures occur, but we sure know what to do about them … close the place down!! Destroy it, ruin it, end its existence on the earth! Yes, that’s the right path. Who cares if this is a popular place or if it’s the only one of its kind for miles on end? Who cares if people have been going here since they were children, and now their children are going? They failed me, and that failure must be dealt with with my wrath's swift and terrible hand.

I was thinking about this today after reading an article about a woman who went to her local coffee shop, which she patronizes daily on her way to work. She has done this for ages, and she noticed that a worker used a rag to wipe the drink cups with and that he had used it to wipe his hands after giving a dog a cup of whipped cream. The dog, being a dog, was excited about the cup of sweetness and slobbered all over the worker’s hand. The worker grabbed the rag and wiped his hands before handing the customer her change or something similar. Well, the woman at the center of this event, and I am sure she would be happy hearing she is at the center of something, videoed it on her phone, came back for another video, and posted it online. Okay, that’s fine; some people want to be famous, and some people live their entire lives to go viral; that’s okay; that’s their life. What made me question the whole event was that she posted the video, and the caption was whatever the name of the coffee shop is, you’re done; you’re going down!

Is that really the necessary response to this event? Is the complete destruction of a business the end game? I would imagine that if you stopped taking video and said to the worker, "Hey, you may want to use another rag to wipe the cups, or Hey, I just saw you do this; maybe you want to change that action so that no one is … whatever." Why is the first instinct, the go-to response, destroy all who upset me!!!

There are choices; believe me, we all have a choice, even when we have been angered or wronged. We all have the option to react, overreact, or go ballistic. We can decide how we want to deal with our fellow human beings. We can put ourselves in their place and imagine how we’d like to be dealt with. So why is the immediate reaction to destroy?

It’s a viable question, so today’s blog post is about it. It’s not about cancel culture; it’s an actual question I would love an answer to, so let's dive in.

Empathy and Understanding

At the heart of our interactions with businesses and their employees lies the vital principle of empathy. In an increasingly polarized world, where frustration often overshadows understanding, cultivating empathy becomes essential for fostering positive relationships. It’s important to remember that everyone makes mistakes—whether in a bustling coffee shop or a corporate office—and these errors often stem from a lack of awareness, training, or the pressures of a demanding work environment.

Instead of immediately jumping to conclusions and expressing outrage, we can approach situations with kindness and understanding. This shift in perspective allows us to address concerns constructively and helps build a culture of support and growth within our communities.

Consider a scenario where a customer witnesses a worker using the same rag to wipe drink cups after interacting with a dog. The customer could have opted for a more empathetic approach rather than recording the incident and taking to social media to unleash their frustration. A simple conversation could have transformed the situation entirely.

For instance, the customer might have approached the worker and gently said, “Hey, I just noticed you used that rag for the cups after the dog. You might want to consider using a different one for hygiene purposes.” This small act of kindness opens the door to a dialogue about hygiene practices without casting blame or inciting panic.

Such interactions can lead to invaluable learning opportunities. The employee may not be aware of the implications of their actions; a constructive conversation can help them recognize the importance of maintaining cleanliness and hygiene, especially in food service. Moreover, this kind of feedback encourages a workplace culture where employees feel supported rather than attacked.

Empathy also extends to recognizing the challenges that employees face daily. Many service workers operate under high-pressure conditions, often juggling multiple tasks while dealing with long lines of impatient customers. Understanding this context can help us appreciate their efforts and foster a more forgiving attitude when minor mistakes occur.

Furthermore, empathy in our interactions can lead to systemic improvements within businesses. When customers approach situations with a mindset of understanding, they can help identify gaps in training or processes that management may not know. By engaging in constructive dialogue, customers contribute to a more thoughtful and responsive business environment, ultimately benefiting everyone involved.

Fostering empathy and understanding creates a ripple effect that can lead to positive change. It empowers employees, strengthens community ties, and promotes a more constructive approach to addressing concerns. As we navigate our daily interactions, let’s remember the impact of kindness and how a small gesture can pave the way for significant improvements in our personal experiences and the broader business landscape.

A grey wall with a red sign reading: war ich nicht arm wärst du nicht reich- Brecht

Constructive Criticism

Constructive criticism is a powerful tool that can drive positive change and foster improvement within businesses while preserving a healthy relationship with customers. In a world where a single viral post can tarnish a reputation overnight, it’s crucial to consider alternative approaches that encourage growth rather than destruction.

Instead of hastily condemning a business over a minor infraction, we can offer thoughtful feedback highlighting improvement areas. Constructive criticism focuses on the specific behavior or action rather than targeting the individual. This distinction is essential; it allows for a more objective conversation that centers on finding solutions rather than assigning blame.

In the case of the coffee shop incident, a well-framed critique could emphasize the importance of hygiene and cleanliness, recognizing that even the most dedicated workers can make mistakes. For example, a customer might say, “I noticed that the rag used for the cups was also used after interacting with a dog. Reviewing your hygiene practices to ensure all customers feel comfortable might be worth reviewing.”

This approach addresses the concern and positions the feedback as an opportunity for improvement. By presenting the issue constructively, the customer demonstrates an investment in the business’s success rather than a desire to see it fail. Such feedback can lead to vital conversations among management and staff about training protocols, cleanliness standards, and customer service practices, ultimately enhancing the overall customer experience.

Moreover, this culture of constructive criticism fosters an environment where employees feel safe acknowledging their own mistakes and learning from them. When feedback is delivered in a supportive manner, it encourages workers to reflect on their actions and strive for better practices, knowing that they won’t face public ridicule for minor errors. This shift can lead to increased morale, higher job satisfaction, and improved performance.

Ultimately, constructive criticism benefits both the business and its patrons. By prioritizing positive engagement over outrage, we contribute to a culture of continuous improvement that elevates the quality of service and strengthens the bond between customers and businesses. In this way, we create a community where feedback is viewed as a valuable growth resource, and businesses are empowered to adapt and thrive.

The Ripple Effect

The ripple effect of a single viral video can be devastating. A moment of anger or frustration can lead to significant consequences for a business, its employees, and the community surrounding it. When a coffee shop is targeted online for a minor infraction, the repercussions can extend far beyond the initial incident.

Employees may lose their jobs, loyal customers feel alienated, and the community could lose a beloved establishment. This impact underscores the importance of considering the broader consequences of our actions before hitting the “post” button.

A pole with a sign reading Good News Is Coming

Social Media Responsibility

In an age dominated by social media, the responsibility that comes with sharing content online has never been more significant. With platforms designed to amplify voices and spread messages rapidly, we must be mindful of the impact our posts can have—not just on businesses but on communities and individuals as well. The drive to go viral can overshadow the potential harm accompanying a moment of outrage, leading to repercussions far beyond the initial incident.

When prioritizing likes and shares over thoughtful engagement, we contribute to a culture of outrage that often drowns out more nuanced conversations. Viral posts that aim to call out businesses for perceived failures can escalate quickly, resulting in a flood of negative comments and reviews. This environment fosters an adversarial relationship between customers and businesses, where mistakes are met with swift and severe punishment rather than understanding and dialogue.

We have a choice in how we utilize social media. Instead of wielding it as a weapon for destruction, we can transform it into a platform for positive change. This involves advocating for better practices while respecting the humanity of those involved in the situations we encounter.

For example, rather than immediately sharing a video of a perceived mishap, a customer might consider addressing the issue privately first. Engaging directly with the business—through a message or a conversation—can lead to productive discussions about the problems. This approach allows for constructive feedback and helps companies understand their customers' perspectives, paving the way for genuine improvement and accountability.

Moreover, we can use social media to share success stories and highlight businesses that are making strides in customer service, hygiene, or ethical practices. By promoting positive narratives, we contribute to a culture that values growth and accountability, encouraging businesses to strive for excellence rather than fear public backlash.

This shift in mindset requires us to take a step back and consider the broader implications of our online actions. When we share content, we should ask ourselves: Does this post foster understanding? Does it encourage dialogue? Will it lead to positive change? By framing our engagement this way, we advocate for a more empathetic and constructive online community.

Social media can shape perceptions and influence behavior. By embracing our responsibility as users, we can choose to foster conversations that prioritize understanding over outrage, helping to create a business landscape where mistakes are viewed as opportunities for growth rather than grounds for destruction. Together, we can work towards a digital culture that uplifts rather than undermines, promoting a more thoughtful and compassionate approach to our online and offline interactions.

Examples of Positive Engagement

Numerous instances exist where customers have chosen the high road, opting for positive engagement rather than destructive outrage. These examples illustrate how constructive feedback can lead to meaningful improvements and foster stronger relationships between businesses and their patrons.

Take, for instance, a diner who experiences a long wait for their food. Instead of immediately turning to social media to vent frustration with a negative review, the diner could approach the restaurant manager directly to discuss their experience. By doing so, they create an opportunity for a constructive conversation. The manager may not be aware of the delays, and this feedback can prompt a review of staffing or kitchen procedures.

Moreover, when customers share their experiences respectfully, they encourage a culture of open communication within the establishment. When staff members see that patrons are willing to engage positively, they may feel more motivated to deliver exceptional service, knowing their efforts are recognized and appreciated.

Another example can be found in retail. Consider a customer who receives a damaged item. Instead of expressing outrage online or demanding a refund without further discussion, they could reach out to customer service with a calm and respectful inquiry. By providing details about the issue and allowing the business to rectify the situation, the customer fosters goodwill and encourages the company to uphold its standards of quality and service.

Similarly, when customers notice that a business is making strides towards sustainability—like a coffee shop implementing reusable cup policies—they can take to social media to commend the initiative. By sharing positive experiences and encouraging others to support the business, customers uplift the establishment and promote a culture of responsibility and conscientiousness within their communities.

In the digital age, positive engagement can manifest through social media platforms. For instance, when a customer has a pleasant experience at a restaurant, they can share photos and tag the business, celebrating the positive aspects of their visit. This enhances the restaurant's reputation and creates a sense of community among patrons who value similar experiences.

Such examples of positive engagement demonstrate that constructive feedback and appreciation can lead to a cycle of improvement. When customers approach situations with a support mindset rather than criticism, they help businesses grow and adapt. This, in turn, fosters a sense of loyalty and trust that benefits both parties.

Ultimately, positive engagement nurtures goodwill between businesses and customers, creating a better experience for everyone involved. By recognizing the power of our voices and choosing to use them constructively, we contribute to a more compassionate and thriving community where businesses can flourish and customers feel valued.

A coffee cup with What Good Shall I Do Today on it

Balancing Accountability with Humanity

In our quest for justice and integrity, we must find a delicate balance between accountability and humanity. While it is essential to hold businesses accountable for their actions—especially when they engage in unethical practices that exploit or harm consumers—we must ensure that our approach does not strip away compassion and understanding. In today’s fast-paced world, where the spotlight often shines brightly on corporate missteps, it can be easy to conflate minor errors with grave transgressions.

Every day, countless employees in service industries strive to provide quality experiences for their customers. These individuals, often on the front lines of business, may face immense pressure and fatigue, leading to occasional slip-ups. However, these everyday mistakes—like a forgotten order or a mix-up at the register—should not be treated with the same severity as intentional acts of wrongdoing. Instead, we must recognize that these errors are often learning opportunities rather than grounds for severe retribution.

By distinguishing between significant wrongdoing and minor errors, we can cultivate a more supportive environment that encourages growth and improvement. This shift in perspective allows businesses to learn from their missteps, fostering a culture where employees feel safe acknowledging their mistakes and seeking guidance. When workers are not fearful of public shaming or loss of livelihood over minor infractions, they are more likely to engage in self-reflection and strive for better practices.

Furthermore, a humane approach to accountability promotes a collaborative relationship between businesses and their patrons. When customers hold businesses accountable with kindness and understanding, they contribute to a constructive dialogue that fosters improvement rather than hostility. This creates an ecosystem where enterprises feel encouraged to enhance their practices, benefiting employees and customers.

When wielded with compassion, we must remember that accountability can catalyze meaningful change. By holding businesses to high ethical standards while offering a framework for improvement, we empower them to evolve and adapt. This approach not only safeguards the integrity of our communities but also ensures that businesses can thrive in an environment marked by mutual respect.

As we navigate the complexities of our business interactions, let us embrace the responsibility of balancing accountability with humanity. By doing so, we foster a culture where constructive feedback leads to progress, and individuals can learn from their mistakes without fear of devastation. This balanced approach promises a healthier, more resilient business landscape—one where compassion and accountability coexist, driving both improvement and understanding.

Summing Up: A Call for Thoughtful Responses

In a world where our first instinct is often to destroy, it’s time to rethink our responses to perceived failures. The instinct to obliterate businesses over minor mistakes doesn’t serve the economy, the workers, or our communities. Instead, we can choose to engage thoughtfully and compassionately, fostering a culture of growth, understanding, and improvement.

By prioritizing empathy, constructive criticism, and positive engagement, we can create a more supportive environment that encourages businesses to thrive. Remember that our actions matter the next time we encounter a minor failure. Rather than seeking to destroy, we can choose to uplift and improve, ensuring that our favorite spots remain part of our communities for years to come.

In a world where our choices can profoundly impact businesses and communities, ThoughtLab encourages a balanced approach to accountability and compassion. By fostering an environment where constructive feedback is valued, ThoughtLab empowers individuals and organizations to engage in meaningful dialogue that leads to genuine improvement. As we strive to make compassionate choices in our interactions, we can help create a landscape where accountability and coexistence flourish. In this way, we uplift businesses and enrich our communities, ensuring that they thrive together in a spirit of mutual respect and understanding.